“This study tested what first impression you’re giving about your personality judging by your d–k pic alone,” says the poster — who goes by Dr. M the Science Femme and says she has a neuroscience Ph.D. — while wearing a pushup two-piece swimsuit. The unidentified lecturer, known for posting viral science explainers in lingerie, collaborated with science site PsyPost to interpret the sex-periment, conducted by scientists from New Mexico Highlands University.
The scientists had reportedly carried out the phallic personality test with the aim of investigating “what information is inferred from a picture of a penis at zero-acquaintance.”
To determine the correlation between a stranger’s penis presentation and how they’re perceived, the randy researchers showed 106 people — 80% of whom were women — photos of 24 penises that varied in girth, length and the amount of pubic hair.
After looking at the image, the participants were then asked to infer whether the owner was extroverted, good in bed, dependable, anxious and other personality traits.
They found that there exists an undeniable link between the size of a member and how one’s character is perceived. Generally speaking, bigger Johnsons were seen as synonymous with extroversion, while smaller penises were perceived as the opposite.
Or as the Science Femme put it: “Apparently, skinny penises are giving neuroticism, and girthy penises are giving extroverted, open to new experiences, more sexually active, better in bed and more of a pleaser as opposed to being a ‘pillow princess.’”
Average-size willies, on the other hand, fell, not surprisingly, in the middle of the character-indicator spectrum, per the study.
“Medium-length penises didn’t signal any strong personality traits at all,” Dr. M explained in her breakdown. “Congratulations, you’re a blank canvas. Maybe now partners can get to know you as a person.”
Interestingly, the opposite rule held true for pubic hair, in which less was more in terms of pub-lic perception. “Having untrimmed pubic hair apparently gives off strong signals that you’re an introverted, disagreeable, careless virgin,” declared the Science Femme.
While the study may seem superficial, the scientists stressed their research was valuable for determining that people can formulate impressions based on penis presentation alone.
“While most research has prioritized the face pictures and biographies of potential partners, the present findings take a step forward to investigate how pictures of penises may contribute to the holistic perception of the person within digital spaces,” the scientists wrote.
In fact, the Science Femme commended the study authors on being “shockingly woke and self-aware.”
“I was impressed by how they acknowledge that penis-size-based perceptions of masculinity are related to greater sexism and greater sexual narcissism. Add a new red flag to the list, y’all,” she said.
Thankfully, despite the aforementioned findings, the punily endowed reportedly compensate for an alleged lack of character in other ways. For instance, a 2020 survey by online bazaar OnlyBuy found that the biggest earners tend to have the smallest willies.