Recounting an awarding role
Bruce Vilanch, king of the Oscars writers, remembers Sharon Stone flashing her basic parts in âBasic Instinct.â
He says: âJoke then was, âThis yearâs biggest part was Sharon Stoneâs in âBasic Instinct.âââ She then grimaced in the audience.
âOscar nights we get audience seats. Sometimes theyâre on top of the balcony. Once I asked Chris Henchy, Brooke Shieldsâ husband, if he wanted a pair of tickets. Brooke said, âNo. Forget it.â They didnât even sit through the show.
âOften in our room we writers throw jokes at each other. Once documentary winner Michael Moore made a speech about George W. Bush. Stagehands began booing. Emcee Steve Martin then announced the stagehands were helping Michael into the trunk of his car.
âFor jokes some stars need rehearsal. Jane Fonda wants a pre-reading. Johnny Depp: âI donât know how to do this because thereâs no real character here.â I said, âMake one up.â So he remembered being chemically altered in one picture and delivered his lines as if he was slightly oiled.
âI actually started with Bette Midler. She was then nobody but â like me â she came from New Jersey so I wound up writing for her.â
Not my fault
After the earthquake on Friday, listeners called into the radio with reactions. One Jerseyite said â quote â âI thought former Governor Chris Christie fell out of bed.â
Pumped up
Oilâs heading back up as predicted. The Mideast inches toward more bad times. Pay attention to oil plus additional inflation.
One analyst claims that the Permian field â our Southwestâs highest oil producer â may reach peak production within two years. Our supply then decreases. Comes next the question of Iran.
Insufferable backer?
This paperâs Johnny Oleksinski pees on or praises movies and theater shows.
Swearing heâs never wrong, he bitches: âHillaryâs now in showbusiness? People are being kind about her as a âBroadway producerâ of the new show âSuffsâ at the Music Box? Itâs about those days when women fought for the right to vote. OK, but what the hell does she know about the theater business?
âSheâs only a face â and most divisive face you could pick. Sales were soft its first week of previews. So, will its Tony Awards campaign be her third failed campaign in a row?!â
One more complaint and Johnny O ends up getting Napoleonâs used cot on Elba.
Murmurings
That olâ gang of mine is raising kids. Gwen Verdon and Bob Fosse had one daughter, Nicole. Next up, Fosseâs grandson Seanâs in the coming film âBeyond the Rush.â He plays an attorney .â.â. Miley Cyrus and Halle Berry pray for a âgood neighbor.â Rich guy Frank Schillingâs 130 acres on Malibuâs Encinal Canyon Bluff is up for bids through Thursday at Sothebyâs Concierge Auctions. Those unobstructed ocean views list for over $13 million .â.â. Kindly Rob Lowe: âIâve been on a TV show every year since 1999. Iâve had a movie slate up my face more often than a toothbrush.â
White House: Its resident spent two weeks in a revolving door looking for the knob.
Likes to steal the spotlight, plus maybe anything that can be moved.
Asked a question while hobbling toward the helicopter, its occupant thinks with his legs.
Lone thing he understands is the talent of a vice president is one who hasnât any.
Only in America, kids, only in America.